Hairy, lesbian feminist .
Please note: My posts are queued, so even if I'm posting I might not be online
Yes this. All too often they end up being the worst offenders because a.) they assume they’re excluded from your critique of patriarchy and have not done the work of internalizing it and decentering themselves and b.) they expect a cookie for the most basic allowances and understanding and get irritable and shitty (saying stuff like “well your attitude isn’t helping your cause!” or “you should be grateful for allies like me!”) when you don’t give it to them. They are the worst because they have some of the language down and have abstractly accepted some of the concepts but they’ve done nothing to really attack and dismantle their own privilege.
Not only that, they’re smug little shits. I really just don’t care for men in feminist spaces at all unless they stfu and listen.
I discovered that TED and TEDWomen have never featured a talk on abortion.
…When I asked around, the consensus was that the omission was simply an oversight. But it turns out TED is deliberately keeping abortion off the agenda. When asked for comment, TED content director and TEDWomen co-host Kelly Stoetzel said that abortion did not fit into their focus on “wider issues of justice, inequality and human rights.”
“Abortion is more of a topical issue we wouldn’t take a position on, any more than we’d take a position on a state tax bill,” Stoetzel explained. She pointed me to a few talks on women’s health and birth control, but this made the refusal to discuss abortion only more glaring. In the last three years, the United States has seen more abortion restrictions enacted than in the entire previous decade; the United Nations has classified the lack of access to abortion as torture; and Savita Halappanavar died in Ireland because a Catholic hospital refused to end her doomed pregnancy. Just how is abortion not an issue of “justice, inequality and human rights”?
Trauma inevitably brings loss. Even those who are lucky enough to escape physically unscathed still lose the internal psychological structures of a self securely attached to others. Those who are physically harmed lose in addition their sense of bodily integrity. And those who lose important people in their lives face a new void in their relationships with friends, family, or community. Traumatic losses rupture the ordinary sequence of generations and defy the ordinary social conventions of bereavement. The telling of the trauma story thus inevitably plunges the survivor into the profound grief. Since so many of the losses are invisible or unrecognized, the customary rituals of mourning provide little consolation.
The descent into mourning is at once the most necessary and the most dreaded task of this stage of recovery. Patients often fear that the task is insurmountable, that once they allow themselves to start grieving they will never stop. Danieli quotes a 74-year-old widow who survived the Nazi Holocaust: “Even if it takes one year to mourn each loss, and even if I live to be 107 [and mourn all members of my family], what do I do about the rest of the six million?”
The survivor frequently resists mourning, not only out of fear but also out of pride. She may consciously refuse to grieve as a way of denying victory to the perpetrator….Reclaiming the ability to feel the full range of emotions, including grief, must be understood as an act of resistance rather than submission to the perpetrator’s intent. Only through mourning everything that she has lost can the patient discover her indestructible inner life….
…Resistance to mourning can take on numerous disguises. Most frequently it appears as a fantasy of magical resolution through revenge, forgiveness, or compensation.
The revenge fantasy is often a mirror image of the traumatic memory, in which the roles of perpetrator and victim are reversed. It often has the same grotesque, frozen, and wordless quality as the traumatic memory itself. The revenge fantasy is one form of the wish for catharsis. The victim imagines that she can get rid of the terror, shame, and pain of the trauma by retaliating against the perpetrator. The desire for revenge also arises out of the experience of complete helplessness. In her humiliated fury, the victim imagines that revenge is the only way to restore her own sense of power. She may also imagine that this is the only way to force the perpetrator to acknowledge the harm he has done to her.
Though the traumatized person imagines that revenge will bring relief, repetitive revenge fantasies actually increase her torment….During the process of mourning, the survivor must come to terms with the impossibility of getting even. As she vents her rage in safety, her helpless fury gradually changes into a more powerful and satisfying form of anger: righteous indignation. …Giving up the fantasy of revenge does not mean giving up the quest for justice; on the contrary, it begins the process of joining with others to hold the perpetrator accountable for his crimes.
Revolted by the fantasy of revenge, some survivors attempt to bypass their outrage altogether through a fantasy of forgiveness. This fantasy, like its polar opposite, is an attempt at empowerment. The survivor imagines that she can transcend her rage and erase the impact of the trauma through a willed, defiant act of love. But it is not possible to exorcise the trauma, through either hatred or love. Like revenge, the fantasy of forgiveness often becomes a cruel torture…true forgiveness cannot be granted until the perpetrator has sought and earned it through confession, repentance, and restitution.
Genuine contrition in a perpetrator is a rare miracle. Fortunately, the survivor does not need to wait for it. Her healing depends on the discovery of restorative love in her own life; it does not require the love be extended to the perpetrator. Once the survivor has mourned the traumatic event, she may be surprised to discover how uninteresting the perpetrator has become to her and how little concern she feels for his fate. She may even feel sorrow and compassion for him, but this disengaged feeling is not the same as forgiveness.
Judith Herman, Trauma and Recovery: The Aftermath of Violence - from Domestic Abuse to Political Terror (via seebster)
This project started as a side blog, created out of frustration that so many people of color are quite literally harassed out of Renfaires, fandoms, book clubs, SCA events, message boards and forums, because of their race.
I have a background in interdisciplinary studies and historiography/historiology, and I’ve been specializing in the concept of “retroactive erasure” since sometime in 2010, although that focus was more towards gender studies. Now, as you can imagine, important people in interdisciplinary gender studies do not like being criticized for parroting racist ideas in support of their super-enlightened gender studies theories.
When I originally coined the term, I was really shocked by the lack of specific scholarship exploring the ways in which the contributions of say, white women during the European middle ages, had been completely erased during the 19th and 20th centuries, by white male “experts” who blamed “the lack of opportunities for women at the time (the middle ages)” as a reason for the “lack of evidence” that women had in fact contributed.
It’s for this reason that in almost every humanities textbook or handout that’s come across my desk, if it touches on “prehistory”, there contains a section of “and during that time, women everywhere became subject to men, and that’s when human society started”. Now, reading that sentence, your average person educated in the United States will nod and agree vaguely without questioning it. In fact, liberal and radical feminism (*gag*) have both built their entire premise on this idea.
But if you actually think about it for more than two seconds, you’ll suddenly remember that societies other than Europe existed at that time. There are entire books about how the first wave of American feminism got the whole idea for feminism from Iroquois women of their acquaintance, who had been living with power, autonomy, and high social status for as long as they could remember. Unfortunately, those very same books completely ignore and purposely omit the first wave feminists’ openly Eugenicist positions, overt and malicious anti-Black racism, and their support to eliminate the very same civilizations and cultures that they had taken this inspiration of “gender equality” from in the first place. Add in the stress on “missionary work”, temperance movements, the entry of white women into the workforce as a “superior” influence over men of color who had previously occupied those positions…
Now, what does the culmination of all of these ideas just discussed look like?
1. the American obsession with creating ever increasing amounts of medieval-ish, Europe-ish based historical and fantasy media
2. retroactive erasure
3. “Western” or Eurocentric feminism with its foundations built on eugenics, racism, and constructions of white femininity contingent on missionary work and temperance movements
And this is coming from a fan. I have in fact read all of the ASOIAF books multiple times, including The Hedge Knight and other Dunk and Egg novellas, and watched every episode of Game of Thrones. I’ve had GoT parties, and I, along with everyone else who had read the books, positively reveled in people’s reactions to various plot points. I’m actually of the opinion that the show is LESS problematic in many ways to the novels. And I’ve actually bought the novels as gifts for other people as well.
That doesn’t invalidate the perfectly reasonable criticism that exists of both the show and the books.
Because as most fans of this particular genre can tell you, once it gets its hooks in you, it never lets go. After all, how can you resist the above, when you cut your teeth on this:
Or, god forbid, this:
And of course now, you have a better idea of both 1. how incredibly freaking old I am and 2. Just how boring, overused, and ubiquitous these kind of cultural ideas are.
But, imagine if all of that was actually put into perspective as media created by modern hands, thoughts, and ideas. Imagine if, instead, we had all seen that there are MANY ways to be Knights in Shining Armor, Princesses In Need of Rescues, Queens in Golden Crowns, Faeries and Fey Folk, Ladies in Shining Armor, or Knights of Flowers?
Maybe if we HAD, we wouldn’t have this:
And it’s my hope that soon, this will change.
1. saint maurice in full armor
5. Xiang Fei
black women come in literally every shape, color, and size
and so when a person says they aren’t attracted to black women
it’s not actually about being physically attracted to black women
it’s about an aversion to blackness
and just knowing a person is black is seen as repulsive
regardless of physical attractiveness
It’s really worth reading the whole article.
Not only are male outbursts given a pass, they are often placed at the fault of others.
If a white heterosexual male is angry in public, any “other” human will be automatically defaulted as the instigator in the eyes of everyone else. They will be more likely to be coded as undeserving or unworthy.
The safety of being an angry white man.